As I work with organizations, I find that they resist almost everything. This makes sense because organizations are nothing more than a group of people organized to achieve a mutual goal. People are resistant to many things (change, the unknown, loss of control, lack of independence, etc.) The most interesting resistance is the resistance to the comments of others regarding our work. These comments come in the form of feedback, criticisms, and complaints.

When I worked in retail I was told, "the customer is always right." That's when I first really started identifying my resistance. How could the customer always be right? Was I hired to always be wrong? I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. How could I fathom the fact that I was always going to be wrong? Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to be wrong. So for me, I resisted anyone who told me, "You are wrong." I find that in organizations there are many people like me resisting the comments of not only their customers but also their employees and managers.

Why do we resist the criticism and complaints of others? We resist because the message that we hear is "You have failed." And many times we disagree. Our product is the best. It met specifications. It may have even surpassed quality standards or our competitor's product. How could it not meet your needs? You are wrong.

If I approach the situation with the attitude that I am right no matter what you think, I am not going to learn from you. Each criticism and complaint is an opportunity to learn. Each negative comment gives me insight into that individual. It will help me to improve my service or product to meet new and changing needs.

To do this I must suspend my judgment of the customer and their comments. Because the hidden truth behind "the customer is always right" is that a happy customer is better than an unhappy customer. It has been documented by many experts that a happy customer will not only come back but also tell at least five more people (five potential new customers). But with an unhappy customer, not only do you loss that customer but they will also tell at least ten more people (that ten potential customers lost). What's resistance costing you?

By learning to listen openly and actively, we not only gain a happy customer, employee or manager, but we also can gain some new ideas on improving our services and products. The ability to suspend judgment and lower resistance to the criticism and complaints is difficult. It takes shifting our attitude to one of openness and understanding. It takes time and skills to effectively listen to complaints and criticism.

"Resistance is Futile." Star Trek was right. If we continue to resist the complaints and criticisms we are doomed to continue to fail. What resistance is holding you back from success?

By: Margie Thomas