I am currently working with a new young manager (let's call him John) who "talks a good game." I am sure you have seen people like John, he promises to get resources that individuals need to do their job or he agrees to complete tasks that are crucial to major projects, yet nothing gets done. John has continually set up expectations with a variety of people that he isn't able to meet. Now their perception of him is in the cellar. They will not trust him and are angry because projects are behind or others have to do his work.

Granted issues do arise after we make promises to others. Most people understand this. They tend to judge individuals on how they handle these issues. John however said nothing when he started to sink, instead of letting individuals know that he needed help. Therefore tasks were not accomplished by deadline or rushed at the last second, not meeting the expectations of the project. So the perceptions of most of the people that have had interactions with John are that he can't do the job. Therefore, they don't want to work with him. This leads to a negative perception of John and his organization as well.

John is trying to fight this by trying to "talk" his way out of his behavior. When I bring concerns to him he wants to know who said what so he can tell them they are wrong. If someone criticizes his action he becomes extremely defensive and indignant. He believes that these criticisms are meant to undermine his actions. Now people don't even want to talk with him.

This is something I see a lot in working with managers and supervisors (and yes even staff.) For some reason we believe that explanations will get us out of trouble. We would much rather justify our actions instead of understanding how our actions affected others from their point of view of the other parties involved. Stephen Covey stated that it is easier to say "I am not responsible" than to say "I am irresponsible." Therefore, John wants everyone to know he is not responsible when they perceive him as irresponsible.

The only way to change someone's perception of you and your work is to change your behavior. I know that sounds hard but really the main behavior you need to change is how you respond to issues and complaints. Listening to the negative comments to understand their point of view is the most important thing you can do. But listening is not enough. You then need to incorporate what you have learned. Granted you may not agree with their perception of the situation. Agreeing is not the point. Knowing what their perception is and how you have caused that perception is the point. Now you can do things differently if you want to change perceptions.

Perceptions change over time. You cannot change someone's perception with one act. Therefore, overcoming your history will take time. This is not only important but crucial to your future success. Will it be easy, NO. But the benefits will out weigh the costs. If you want people to trust you then show that you are trustworthy. If you want people to talk to you, then show them that you care. If you want your staff to bring you ideas and concerns, then listen and recognize their efforts.